acceptance

As the snow gently falls past my second story studio window, I notice a silence struggling to be heard. I turn off my music and listen. The snow laden trees are so still and accepting of this season of hibernation. It's as though the spirits of these great trees have leaned back to give the world a rest from life. I perceive no arguments from these giants, no determinations to stay relevant in this sleeping forest. Only simple and absolute acceptance.

I suppose I will notice the same resignation when the season turns to spring, and life once again flourishes outside my window. There will be no resistance to the cacophony of growth. Life will feel the undeniable urge to blossom and it will be so.

I find myself noticing these phenomenon with a tender heart. For the last several months I have been participating in the 24 hour care of my mother-in-law, Christina. She still lives in the same house she and her husband built almost seventy years ago; the same house in which they raised their five children. She is a strong spirited woman and I love her deeply.

As her community medical team and loving family strives to keep her body functioning she pleads to be permitted to just sleep away her remaining time on earth. She is caught between the desire to be physically and emotionally comfortable and her longing to be finished.

My medical wise friends tell me this long term care could go on and on. We could be putting the rest of our lives on hold for years in order to allow this elderly woman the peace of remaining in her own home. I find myself saddened at the thought of her continued conflict. Her spirit desperately wants this living business to be over, while her physical body just isn't finished quite yet.

Acceptance of what is may be elusive if the democratic nature of body and soul is at odds.