There is a serious tug of war going on in end-of-life care. Consensus says that a stimulated lifestyle will uplift and potentially prolong living for those nearing the end of their life. With the ultimate goal being a long, rich life, it's reasonable that a compassionate approach to care would include creative activities, familiar visitors, and plenty of opportunities for social engagement.
In nursing homes all over the country the elderly are escorted from their rooms to gather in the common area and listen to joyful children sing, learn a new craft, or simply enjoy a coffee with the other residents. Sounds good, unless the resident is not as comfortable being as social as others may deem normal.
We know Christina's essential nature is to be friendly but solitary. At the hight of her mobility she was never one to go for coffee with the girls or volunteer to be involved in a local event. Her independence following the loss of her husband several years ago has been paramount in her personal goal for living a good life. She has spent the last decade living happily alone in her own home with little to no community involvement. To meet our goal of providing compassionate care for my mother-in-law, my husband and I must continually revisit what fits with her current emotional and physical state.
We believe offering the opportunity and encouragement to choose how her time is spent will help us in maintaining supportive, compassionate care.
Beautifully said. Wish everyone could let go of their own ego and respect the wishes of the one who's living through the passing.
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