catching up

This project, originally named 'Steps Ahead', was conceived during a Sunday afternoon telephone conversation between myself and my dear friend and life mentor, Jean. Through our conversation I found myself remembering my father. He was a man of determination and ambition and, in his final years, uncomfortable receiving love. In fact, I didn't feel him really accept my unconditional love until after he had passed.

I wish I had sat down and had a frank conversation with my dad. By the time I understood that he was nearing the end of his life, it was too late. Even though my dad was very ill, he continued to drink and smoke ("I don't inhale!"), it was only a couple of days prior to his death before it dawned on us that he was that ill. Even then we remained silent. I remember being aware of a dull fog weaving around our family. A knowingness to difficult to verbalize that weighed us all down.

During my conversation with Jean I realized, with a flood of warmth spreading throughout my body, that I might be able to bring some awareness to this aspect of life. The one event which every living being will one day experience. Death. Jean suggested I connect with a friend of hers who lives a few hours away from me. Denise's partner, Lee, passed away in 2011 with less than a week of notice. The tenderness and insight with which Lee and her tribe had navigated the last few days of her life was remarkable. Within a week I was Skyping with Denise and her wife, Kathy. Within a month I was out to their ranch a couple of hours from my home to meet them in person.

It is so incredible how God/The Universe can respond so immediately to ones ideas, (or the other way around!). Just prior to my visiting them, Denise's parents came for a visit. Once there, everyone realized it was where they needed to be living. And within two weeks they discovered both Martha and Barry were fighting the same type of cancer. The prognosis wasn't positive, but you'd never know it by their attitudes or the atmosphere.
My first time to the ranch was a day visit; just long enough to enjoy one of Kathy's delicious lunches. The second visit I stayed overnight. The hours I spent, mostly with them in the bedroom/tv room, was  for me, immensely touching. I sketched. I took the occasional photo. And we chatted about everything, but mostly about their lives - past and present. As time stretched, stories lingered.