I arrived back at the ranch yesterday afternoon. The drive from Indian Head was lovely, reminiscent of my home town, Vancouver, grey with a persistent light rain. It was the kind of day to tuck in with a hot cup of tea and a good book, but I was glad to be were I was and grateful to see everyone.
My objective with this visit is to realize a way to move through this experience with as little disturbance to others as possible. With that goal in mind, I have discovered one of my challenges. As a recurring theme, the need for others' approval has had both negative and positive influences in my life. It wasn't until the middle of the night that I realized the impact this need is having on this project.
This need leaves me thinking; What am I doing here? I can see clearly what I want to do and then I get totally distracted with trying to be nice and helpful. I see now that my challenge at this time is to be aware and connect. I see that I've held a mistaken belief that I must stay disconnected in order to lean back far enough to be aware of the potential of each moment. I want to be poised to capture what is happening so that those who are swallowed up in their feelings will have something upon which to reflect.
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