silence

Maria Shrivers wrote in her online blog at, mariashriver.com...

"There are few words to adequately describe the grief a new widow endures. If you must say something, be honest and offer, "I don't know what to say. I am so very sorry. I am here for you." And then for the widow's good be there. Sit next to her. Hold her hand. Hug her. Bring her whatever she wants and don't judge. Put your arms around her and listen to her. Don't be afraid of her tears or silence. Sometimes the deepest laments are silent."

Illustrations © Barbara J Holzapfel

With popular focus on self improvement.. workshops, seminars, books, t.v. shows.. the pressure to 'know' ourselves, and to have access to a plethora of supportive advice for our loved ones, can be immense. Catch phrases like - "How's that working for you? - 'ah ha' moment. - let go and let God." - have created a culture of armchair physiologists. Although the benefits of using these popular communication skills are many, the powerful value of silence is often set aside in order to assume the celebrated role of wise advocate.

If the intent is to provide solace, one might consider the benefits of silence.. always there, ripe with wisdom.